It's good, when of venerable years and in our dotage, that family care for us.
I saw a new patient. I like to see folk at home at least once but on this occasion I saw him in out-patient clinic, through his choice. His GP had referred him with depression.
What was the gentleman's tale? He'd been widowed for a decade and was quite used to living on his own. He'd become more frail, couldn't walk as far as he used to, couldn't manage all the shopping and proffited from additional support. His son and daughter-in-law offered to look after him. He relocated from "down South" to my neck of the woods, moving in to his son/daughter-in-law's home which was difficult. He doesn't like moving. He's got to know the local church, so feels connected and a part of the church once more, which is good for him. He knows some of the folk in his locale now, passing the time of day if he seems them in the streets or corner shops, which is good for him. He spends time talking with his son, when they're alone, his son listens, which is good for him.
He doesn't get on with his daughter-in-law now and when she's in the same room as his son, his son sides with her and hardly talks with him. He says she's heartless and unforgiving, but who knows what the truth is. Not me, for sure.
He's not lonely. He's low in mood. He's got poor sleep, initial insomnia, broken sleep, early morning wakening, diurnal variation in mood, loss of appetite, loss of weight, loss of energy, loss of motivation, no hope or optomism for the future, feels worthless and devalued and frequently (daily) has passive suicidal thoughts and feelings (i.e. wishes he'd go to sleep and die, but isn't planning on actively killing himself). He's a quiet, stoical and almost regal gentleman, open and honest but wan and faded, he looks resigned and beaten.
Why? Well, his daughter-in-law is kicking him out of the house. This is the precipitent for his low mood. I don't have a pill to cure this problem.
Worse, I've feelings of disquiet . . . couldn't she have made this clear before he sold his home down South, or before she'd got a new bathroom with the profits, or before she'd bought the new car and conservatory with it?