An update on my lady who's been having sex.
Although we've directed him not to, the man who's been whisking her off to his place for nights of intimacy continues to do so.
Yesterday she turned up at her day centre. Staff were concerned. They 'phoned to say she was smelly and found he'd packed her off wearing no knickers and she had semen dripping from her. Worse, she had extensive bruising on her upper legs and perineum.
Police have finally agreed to look in to this . . .
7 comments:
Oh my god. That is just terrible. I hope she gets protected and taken care of and whoever is responsible also gets taken care of. Preferably in a small room with big bars. >:(
Yes, terrible.
That's awful. I'm glad the police will now act, although I'm sure it will still be difficult for them, sexual offences of any kind being notoriously difficult to bring to a successful prosecution.
Personally I thought the crux of the matter was this, and I wondered why this hasn't been made more of in the comments,
"Is it that incapacitated adults can't have sex? Can the issue be ignored? Is it that a man, having sex with a woman without consent, should be charged as a sex offender?"
The Mental Capacity Act seems horribly clumsy on this subject, a;lmost as though there is no understanding that those with learning difficulties are frequently sexually active and have equal rights to be so, despite this often being prevented by well meaning staff in day centres or residential care. I remember one case where a couple who were engaged were not allowed to be alone together in a room (within the past two years and they had physical not learning difficulties) My suspicion is that as this is an area many find difficult or unsexy to think about it's mainly ignored leaving people like yourself to try and muddle through when abuses like this one occur.
The other part I found interesting was that you referred to a man having sex with a woman without consent. As a woman I've been sexually assaulted as have many others I know, it's so common its sadly almost a rite of passage, however two of my closest male friends both report rape and sexually assualted by female partners over a lengthy period of time, and I believe them. I know personally a third man who's regularly visibly bruised by his female partner. These are all physically big, strong men who won't retaliate when women start to attack physically, though I'm unsure exactly how the sexual dynamic of female on male rape works. I do know that it's distressingly common and needs addressingly much more openly than we currently do.
Blogs like this are a great start, Bendy Girl
Bendy Girl, I didn't touch on sex between folk with learning difficulties or physical disability since I was focussing just on my poor old dear but you're correct that how health services deal with sex is universally poor.
For folk in long term relationship and in long term institutional care not to have sexual expression notionally runs counter to the nursing assessment and care planning but still invariably it doesn't happen.
As to male->female or female->male rape you're absolutely right, male rape exists and incapacitated adults are at risk of such abuse. I know of several men who have experienced this. You've got me thinking, now, how many/what proportion of male patients have I seen who've disclosed this . . .
It was the question you asked "Is it that incapacitated adults can't have sex?" in the light of what I then went and read of the mental capacity act that made me think of those particular issues even though originally it was about the old dear.
Its almost as though the implication (in the mental capacity act) is that anyone with learning difficulties could be said to be unable to consent to sex (or so I interpreted it as) which I found deeply disturbing.
I started to think about the subject of male rape again from the particular way you'd worded things which I found interesting that just those final three sentences brought up so many related issues, but my academic background does mean I like that kind of interpretation!
It would be interesting to see how many men report being raped by women, its still such a taboo subject I wonder where else they would go for help?
Its almost as though the implication (in the mental capacity act) is that anyone with learning difficulties could be said to be unable to consent to sex (or so I interpreted it as) which I found deeply disturbing.
True. A very valid point that's detailed explicitly (but the context is not explained) in the MCA 2005 or in the Code of Practice.
If incapacitated (i.e. unable to have the capacity to make the decision about sex) then they can't consent to it. The MCA 2005 specifically states nobody, absolutely nobody, can consent on their behalf.
This is absolutely shocking. Appalling. Why has it taken the police so long to do anything about this?
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